silver linings...

Peace Corps has decided to pull me from my site for security reasons. This means I'm moving. Right now this means I'm in Pretoria in a sort of PCV purgatory waiting for a new site.

I'm really torn about moving. Part of me feels guilty for leaving my schools. Part of me is really sad because my host family was amazing and I will miss them terribly. Part of me is freaked out because I'm back to square one, I have no idea where I will be living for the next 18 months. Then again I keep reminding myself I can really make a lot of a new start. I already have experience so maybe I won't make the same mistakes twice. It will be exciting to meet new people and settle into a new place. At least that's what I've been telling myself all day.

I hadn't realized how stressed I had become about safety in my village. I hadn't realized how much it was wearing on me to feel unsafe every time I left the house. Really, I hadn't even let myself recognize I felt unsafe when I left the house. I wanted so badly for everything to be okay so I could continue doing the work I was doing at my schools. I'm learning I need to start taking care of myself, it can't always be about the needs of everyone else.

I'm just going to keep looking for the silver lining and roll with this adventure.